You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
