Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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