I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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