i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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