Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
