stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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