Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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