The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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