here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
