Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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