Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
