So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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