i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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