note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
