After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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