no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
