"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
