He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He told me they were just razor bumps!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize