WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
