you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize