do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
