This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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