I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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