oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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