giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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