I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
