I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
