he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
