Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
