Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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