I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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