he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
