we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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