Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
