R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
