Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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