We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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