Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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