Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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