i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
