I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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