everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize