Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
