A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
