i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
