Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
