would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
