The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
