I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
