Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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