What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
