You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
