You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
