I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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