i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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