U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
