You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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