butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
