It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
