Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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