DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
