I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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