also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
